Top Tip: Never take Urban Dictionary name definitions seriously.
After watching my wife go through the whole wrangler that is labour, I swiftly decided to sign over all naming rights to her. Who was I to demand what to name the watermelon she’d just pushed through her nether regions. An experience which manages to be both brutal and magical in equal measure.
I’ve always related to the scene in Forrest Gump (my film spirit animal, alongside Sid the Sloth) when Forrest finds out he has a son and asks Jenny “Is he smart or is he….?”
It started just like any other labour free night. I’d set my alarm to arise for work the next morning. We settled down in bed to watch that nights recording of Love Island. It was during a conversation in which I’d vetoed two names from the final list of three when it happened.
First of all, I must put on record my massive respect for midwives and health visitors who work very hard to ensure the safety of our children’s health. I remember before Ayla’s first health visitor visits I’d change my outfit three times before they arrived in case they realised I was a schlub who was living in his pyjamas everyday at the time and deem me unfit.
Continue reading “Health Visitor Questions That Confused Me”
When we found out we were pregnant for the second time, the first question anyone asked was “What do you think it will be?” or the even harder to answer “What do you want? Boy or girl?”
As some of you may know, we had some good news over Christmas. Yes, Ayla received a kitchen from St Nick! She now cooks every meal and I live on a diet of invisible, plastic and wooden foods.
We arose early to get to the hospital for our induction. After three failed attempts at sweeping the floor (or whatever it’s called!) and Continue reading “How To Have A Baby”
Before we found out, I had a feeling my wife, Rachel, was going to tell me she was pregnant. We’d had a test a couple of days earlier that came back negative but Continue reading “How To React When Your Wife Tells You She’s Pregnant”
