The Christmas season is upon us. It evokes happy memories and allows you look forward to family time, Christmas dinner and the presents. Yet nothing makes family time more than forcing your family to snuggle up and sit through Channel 5 Christmas B Movies.

Here I’ll guide you through a few of our ‘family favourites’ or at least how I have passively saw them whilst half-watching. 

Miss Christmas

This movie follows the classic Channel 5 Christmas movie plot. A big city girl/boy moves to a small town and meets a small town boy/girl, against all odds they find love via the magic of Christmas time. Only difference being this small town boy has a bizarre, deep seated problem with trees or more specifically Christmas trees not being used all year round and just for Christmas…or something.

Matchmaker Santa

Two couples happily moving along with life until Santa meddles using his ‘Christmas magic’ and breaks both couples up. I seem to recall both couples essentially swinging and and all getting together with the opposite couple. The movie fades out with Santa leering over the two new couples necking on having intenterjected in, and subsequently ruined, four peoples lives.

Snowed Inn Christmas

Now bear with me because we watched this on a trip to the family lodge and it was mostly on mute. (I think) a pair of work colleagues are buddied up to reluctantly go on a business trip together. Things soon get more awkward as they get stranded when there flight is cancelled (bloody airlines!) Luckily for them a couple who may or may not be Santa and Mrs Clause (?) put them up in their house. This results in an ‘unlikely’ romance blossoming, the pair having a deep and meaningful conversation dressed as elves for some reason and Santa, again, letches on a young couple in his own house.